Autobiography

My hometown,Ojai, CA, is a pretty interesting demographic split: predominantly white, mostly affluent, who are further split into staunch Republicans and die-hard Democrats; but with a significant Latin@ population, immigrants of many countries in many different socioeconomic situations. Obviously, that means a lot for the demographic of the classrooms I was in at all times. I had a lot of classmates who were Hispanic, many of them first generation Americans, and as a serious student of Spanish, I tended to interact with them a lot more than many of my Anglo friends.

The one emotion that probably best characterized my relationship with many of the Spanish-speaking classmates I had was embarrassment: I was embarrassed to be butchering their language, embarrassed that I was so interested in their culture (feeling as though it could be misconstrued as merely casual curiosity or, worse, condescension), embarrassed that I was good at being in Spanish class, earning better grades than many of the native speakers because of my ability to take upper-level, more “academically rigorous” courses because of my language advantage. In fact, even after many years of experience, gaining a high level of competency and an undergraduate degree focused on Latin American literature, I still have an acute awareness of my “whiteness” when speaking Spanish to or around native speakers. While I am able to continue speaking through these feelings of awkwardness and inadequacy, the thought that I may be misconstrued as condescending or holier-than-thou is constantly on my mind.

I have a large, close-knit extended family on both sides, and that sense of family and community has played a large part in my identity-formation. In my family is also based another important part of my self-identity: my mother’s family is Catholic, and my father’s family is Jewish. Although I practice neither religion, I identify culturally with both and have made it a priority to understand their respective customs and practices. Although I may not be the most active member of the Willamette Jewish Students Union, I have attended all of their high holiday gatherings all throughout my undergrad, and plan to continue doing so this year. Religion fascinates me, although it does not attract me as a believer, and my own experience with it, I think, leads me to be very open and tolerant of other religions and those who subscribe to them.

I grew up in the theatre, the choir, the band, Southern California - in short, I grew up around show business, and as terribly stereotypical as it sounds, this means I grew up pretty acutely aware of sexuality. Many of the people who are closest to me did and do identify as other than straight. However, my experiences and personal views have led me to come to the conclusion that sexuality is fluid: “either gay or straight, and nothing in between” is something that, for me, just doesn’t exist. However, I do think that a stigma certainly exists at the high school level against being gay or lesbian, or even exploring sexuality in any way, that leads to serious discrimination and discomfort for many students. I will strive to address this issue as it arises, and it is my intention to introduce GLBTQ authors and literature as part of my curriculum. In doing so, I hope to make it acceptable for my students to question, explore, and fully understand issues of sexuality in society, in order that they may then have enough information to come to their own conclusions about the subject. It is something that is very near and dear to my heart, and an issue of diversity that I feel is not as widely addressed, especially at the high school level, as others, such as race or gender.

For me, diversity and difference is something to be shared - it is fascinating and exciting to learn about the people with whom you interact on a daily basis, and therefore I think conversations about both our personal differences and our experiences and feelings with and about others’ difference is valuable. I feel as though the diversity I have experience with has been very out in the open, and that has certainly shaped my own views. I plan to address diversity openly, both the enlightening and the difficult aspects, but with the intention that all students should become informed so that they can form opinions - or have preconceived notions altered - for themselves.

Reflections 1.11-13, "Multicultural Ed"

1.11 Dale Spender - this is the realization that women had to take matters into their own hands in order to be heard and recognized. It is almost always the case that those in power (in this case, men) are perfectly happy - or perfectly ignorant - of the imbalance in the present system. Or, at least, it was: in today's world, so much more emphasis is placed on multiculturalism and diversity in education, even compared to only 20 or 30 years ago, that perhaps we can hope that those in the dominant group are starting to take more responsibility for righting the wrongs of inequity. Spender talks about the battle fought and won by those on the bottom of the system, but it is my hope that those on the bottom will now find more allies on the top.

1.12
1. What is the main purpose of schools? To support and promote self-exploration and inquiry; to allow for the blossoming of students to their full academic potential; to educate responsibly and openly.
2. How does this purpose relate to or serve a diverse society? This allows for students to explore and embrace their own diversities and not see them as set-backs or disadvantages.
3. How does this purpose relate to or serve a socially stratified society? It allows students to move beyond the "box" of labels and achieve to their highest potential, regardless of their social stratification.
4. What are the implications of what you wrote above for the work of a teacher? It places great responsibility on the teacher to be supportive, open, and empathetic to students of all backgrounds and diversities. It requires continual work and energy on the teacher's part.

1.13 As a teacher I envision myself...exactly I stated before, but with a more explicit emphasis on openness and acceptance towards all of my students, continually striving to be more understanding and a great support system, regardless of who those students are and where they come from in relation to myself.

Reflections 1.1-4, "Multicultural Ed"

1.1 My vision of the teacher I want to become? Involved, dedicated, engaging, fun, committed to my students and to their learning, inspiring, inspired, daring, a guide, passionate, unusual...

1.2 Loving children means...supporting them, valuing them as individual beings with their own need for meaning and their own opinions and experiences. Loving children as a teacher means being a guide and a resource as they strive to find themselves through education and exploration.

Wanting to help students means...recognizing that every student is on a unique journey towards self-actualization and wanting to be a support system for them as they struggle to make meaning of themselves, their lives and experiences, and the world around them.

Another reason I want to teach includes...love of learning. I myself love to learn, to experience new knowledge, or even old knowledge in a new ways, and to better understand myself and my world through the process of learning. I can think of no better way to continue to do that all of my life than to facilitate and guide the learning of others.

1.3 Loving children will sustain me if...I feel I can communicate to them that I am interested, not in whether they can spit knowledge back at me, but in helping them grow as individuals - if I can connect to my students. It will not sustain me if...I feel I have been unsuccessful in reaching out to them, or I am having serious repeated discipline problems.

Wanting to help students will sustain me if...I feel as though I am making a difference in their lives; if I see them making progress in their self-identification; if I sense that students need the help, EVEN if they are not very openly responsive. It will not sustain me if...my students write me off or overtly try to lose my respect on purpose.

Love of learning will always sustain me. Period.

1.4 Darling-Hammond et al.'s observation focuses more on individual students' learning needs and styles, while my statement is more about personal identity and the journey to the self. However, I think these two things are intimately connected, and must be combined in order to be effectively loving or helpful. Both statements imply significant time and energy spent on each student.